I am now a full time writer.
Woohoo!! I have been working
towards this goal for three years and now I sit, computer at hand, ready to
conquer the world of Young Adult/New Adult fiction.
Right.
Okay granted, it’s pretty early on. But still. I feel a little frenetic and lost in figuring
out how to approach this. What’s that
you say? I simply need to write? Well, not so fast.
Even though I’m an adult, I am still learning the lesson about
other people’s lives and way they approach things is not necessarily how I have
to. Sounds like a pretty easy thing to get,
but I have to keep relearning it every day.
Initially coming into this full time writing gig, I was
thinking I’d have this set schedule of half day of writing and half day of
editing just like one of my favorite authors.
Day one was my first attempt at it, but I have to admit I felt like an
abject failure. I found I’d write for an
hour and then need to focus somewhere else for a moment to give my brain a
break. Then I’d want to chide myself
for not remaining steadfastly focused.
On day two I decided to try again and about midway through I
flung off my self imposed expectations and just do what felt right. The writing felt easier and cleaner and quiet
honestly, I felt as if I could breathe. I listened to where my thoughts wanted to go. If I was going along and I wanted to say stop
for a second and check my phone, I did.
I know that sounds silly that I had to give myself permission to do
that, but I living under a demand to simply write and not allow anything in there
that wasn’t…well…writing.
Admittedly I have a touch of OCD. If I think too hard and
long on something I need to shift to something else to allow for a break. Maybe I’m normal that way, maybe I’m not, but
this shifting didn’t fit into my mold of what it is to be a full time writer. The author whose scheduled I had initially
crafted my own from is incredibly focused and has been doing this full time for
many years. It is a rhythm that works
for her. She may have developed that
schedule after many trials and errors, but the bottom line is that it’s hers. It doesn’t necessarily have to be mine.
It’s funny, but I find that my ridged expectation of my
writing schedule was exactly the opposite of what I eventually did when I
decided to quit to write full time. I had
felt a call to write full time, but I had some authors who openly chided me and
told me that I should wait until I was moderately successful, because that is
how they did it. If I didn’t do it their way I would be surely to fail. That really scared the ever-living crap out
of me. Another writer told me that they
only way they succeeded was they simply quit their traditional job and wrote,
wrote, wrote until they were successful.
I was in a war zone between the “don’t do it” to the “throw caution to the
wind” parties. Eventually I had to
decide to do what was right for me and no one else. I had to quit listening to both camps and be
who I am.
Therefore, that is what I am going to do from here on in
with my approach to my time. I’m going
to do my schedule in a way that feels right to me and only me. For those of you who email me and ask how you
should do it, I’m sorry, I can’t tell you that.
Eventually you will find your own approach because there is no right or
wrong way.
Wish me luck, throw a penny into a well for me or say a
prayer. I think I’m going to need it.