Thursday, January 03, 2013

Diving in......

2013 has started to be an interesting year of change, and it is only 3 days old!  It makes me very excited as to where this year will end up going.

Lately, I have felt more of a sense of urgency in getting my writing career off the ground.  So much so, that today, I actually requested to go part time in my full time job.  I am a little nervous about it all, and I keep replaying questions in my mind of "What if I am not good enough..." or "What if I fail..." or even, "Am I leaving a stable, good paying job with great benefits to go down a dead end?"  The doubts flood me.

But oddly, in the midst of this, I know that I should do this, or at least, try.  My full time job has taken so much out of me in the last year that I have failed to keep my promise to work on my writing even at night.  My brain and spirit spent, I simply come home and do lesser endeavors  like sleep or play on the computer.    If my job were less stressful, I might be able to do both, but as of now, I feel unable to do it.  So I stood at a cross-roads and made a decision.  Lord help me.

Within the last week, I almost feel like someone is trying to tell me something.  I received messages from different places that seemed to encourage me to do this.

First was a fortune cookie, that surprisingly read, "The only people who never fail are those who never try."  I smiled when I read that and looked around the restaurant to see if somehow this was a joke on me.  But, no such human conspiracy was at hand.

The second message, if you will, was on the Ripped Together Blog  (  They cite a quote from Mark Twain, which read,
"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born… and the day you find out why."
I sat staring at the quote, feeling like it was meant just for me.

And my final message was today, when on of the attorney's in my office, handed me a quote, which read, "I learned early in life that you can't just have dreams.  You have to do something to make them happen.  Dreams are essential to winning, but I've met a lot of people who have been praying about their dreams for twenty years and haven't done anything about them.  A dream is a wish, and it will be come a frustration and a regret if you don't act on it."

I know I need to do this, and I know all the odds against me -- I'm ill educated with grammer, I'm too old to consider changing careers, I'll struggle with even buying groceries.  But, I know in my heart I need to try or I will regret it.

Wish me luck...and say a prayer.

Hugs to you all,  Jen