2013 has started to be an interesting year of change, and it is only 3 days old! It makes me very excited as to where this year will end up going.
Lately, I have felt more of a sense of urgency in getting my writing career off the ground. So much so, that today, I actually requested to go part time in my full time job. I am a little nervous about it all, and I keep replaying questions in my mind of "What if I am not good enough..." or "What if I fail..." or even, "Am I leaving a stable, good paying job with great benefits to go down a dead end?" The doubts flood me.
But oddly, in the midst of this, I know that I should do this, or at least, try. My full time job has taken so much out of me in the last year that I have failed to keep my promise to work on my writing even at night. My brain and spirit spent, I simply come home and do lesser endeavors like sleep or play on the computer. If my job were less stressful, I might be able to do both, but as of now, I feel unable to do it. So I stood at a cross-roads and made a decision. Lord help me.
Within the last week, I almost feel like someone is trying to tell me something. I received messages from different places that seemed to encourage me to do this.
First was a fortune cookie, that surprisingly read, "The only people who never fail are those who never try." I smiled when I read that and looked around the restaurant to see if somehow this was a joke on me. But, no such human conspiracy was at hand.
The second message, if you will, was on the Ripped Together Blog (http://www.rippedtogether.com/blog/). They cite a quote from Mark Twain, which read,
"The two most important days in your life are the day you are born… and the day you find out why."
I sat staring at the quote, feeling like it was meant just for me.
And my final message was today, when on of the attorney's in my office, handed me a quote, which read, "I learned early in life that you can't just have dreams. You have to do something to make them happen. Dreams are essential to winning, but I've met a lot of people who have been praying about their dreams for twenty years and haven't done anything about them. A dream is a wish, and it will be come a frustration and a regret if you don't act on it."
I know I need to do this, and I know all the odds against me -- I'm ill educated with grammer, I'm too old to consider changing careers, I'll struggle with even buying groceries. But, I know in my heart I need to try or I will regret it.
Wish me luck...and say a prayer.
Hugs to you all, Jen